Lip Service
By
The Editors
LYPSYL
Price: $2.99
Size: .10 oz
Sensory impact: Coconut oil, organic shea butter, Swedish beeswax plus a whisper of peppermint: a perfectly balanced balm.
Kissability: Keeps ’em moist for some serious face-sucking.
Effectiveness: One quick coat at 9 p.m. soothed straight through ’til the morning.
Application: Grip tube. Pop the cap. Place thumb on ornamental plastic bee and push up. One quick covering is all it takes.
Rating: 5/5
BADGER MOCHA COCOA FAIR TRADE LIP BALM
Price: $5.00
Size: .25 oz
Sensory impact: Smells delicious—like chocolate fudge. Know I shouldn’t, but I want to eat the stick.
Kissability: Anyone who loves chocolate will lap it up.
Effectiveness: Needs constant reapplication, but worth it for that soothing cocoa.
Application: Twist.
Rating: 5/5
DR PEPPER LIP SMACKERS
Price: $1.50
Size: .14 oz
Sensory impact: Cherry, cherry, cherry.
Kissability: Sweet Sixteen all over again.
Effectiveness: Great for soothing cold, dry winter lips. But that cherry taste wears out its welcome.
Application: Twist
Rating: 3.5/5
BLISTEX LIP MEDEX
Price: $2.29
Size: .38 oz
Sensory impact: A real nose-clearer. Think Vicks VapoRub.
Kissability: Good for the ski slope—not the bedroom.
Effectiveness: Takes care of chapping and sunburn.
Application: Finger to tub to lips.
Rating: 4/5
CHAPSTICK
Price: $1.41
Size: .15 oz
Sensory impact: Not bad if you liked smelling your kindergarten teacher. Medicinal, Chapstick-y.
Kissability: More like a handshake.
Effectiveness: The old standby: softens lips while bringing back childhood memories of winter days of sleigh rides and snowmen.
Application: Twist
Rating: 2.5/5
SMITH’S ROSEBUD SALVE
Price: $6.00
Size: .8 oz
Sensory impact: Musky and floral. If “vintage” were a smell, this would be it.
Kissability: Shows up glossy and slightly pink. For ladies only.
Effectiveness: Makes your lips look nice, but no long-term healing.
Application: You dab into a tin tub. Gets your finger sticky, but since it’s an all-purpose skin salve, you can just rub it into your hands. (It’s also good for diaper rash!)
Rating: 3/5
CARMEX
Price: $1.59
Size: .35 oz
Sensory impact: VapoRub, boiling water, and a pretty aggressive tingling sensation.
Kissability: Yecch. Like a mouthful of Vaseline.
Effectiveness: Two days later and you’re healed. But man, getting there is unpleasant!
Application: Squeeze out the ooze.
Rating: 2/5
MBA Jungle, Winter 2008-2009