How to Control Your Emotions in the Workplace Photo Source: www.freedigitalphotos.net
October 3 2012

How to Control Your Emotions in the Workplace

Last night, I was on a reality TV binge and fell upon an episode of Gallery Girls.  For those unfamiliar, it’s a show about women living in Manhattan who aspire to work in prestigious art galleries.  During one girl’s interview, she was asked to do a number of tasks: filing, refilling business card containers, answering phones, and making the boss a macchiato.  All very important tasks to master in the art world. 

According to the employer and gallery owner, she bombed her trial run due to a lack of enthusiasm on the job and a less than stellar adaptation of a macchiato.  Meanwhile, she was convinced the job was hers, left her unpaid internship, and began telling everyone where she was now (but not really) gainfully employed.  Naturally, this had all the makings of a sad ending, which came together when they called her back to the gallery to tell her the bad news.

After finding out that her friend and fellow cast mate got the job instead, viewers could already see a breakdown begin for this poor unsuspecting girl.  After the employer explained his reasoning behind his decision, she broke down telling the employer he was “all wrong” about her and the waterworks began. Not good.

While there are so many things wrong about what went on during this interview process, I’m going to focus this post on learning to control your emotions.  While we can smartly say that quitting your internship (paid or unpaid) before getting a job offer is a bad idea, and telling people you have a new job at “such and such place” when you really don’t hurts your credibility, reigning in your emotions isn’t the easiest thing to do or come back from.

In the New York Times article, “Find the Roots of Your Office Anger,” author Eilene Zimmerman offers some tips on how to diffuse your feelings before acting on them.

  1. When you feel an intense reaction coming on, ask yourself if it’s realistic and reasonable.  Sometimes what's driving those feelings has nothing to do with what’s happening at the moment.
  2. Rather than reacting in the moment, buy yourself some time by saying: “This is disappointing to me and I want to think about it. Can we talk about it in a day or two?” Then try to look at what is angering and upsetting you as objectively as possible.
  3. Write down your feelings instead of speaking them out loud.  Then share them with a coworker or a friend.  That person can tell you if they see something you may not have seen in the situation and cause you to re-think things.

If you do feel the waterworks coming on and you can’t stop them, the best thing you can do is politely excuse yourself.  Don't cry on the job.  Don’t make yourself look unprofessional by acting too unhinged or hasty.  The last thing you want is the reputation of most overemotional person in the office or on an interview.

How do you keep your emotions in check on the job?

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